oldie, but goodie
1. First, it's pronounced LOSS-VAYGUS. It doesn't matter how they
say it in other places.
2. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Las Vegas has its
own set of traffic rules. There's no book about them. All you can do
is get in your car and hope you survive to learn them.
3. All directions start with, "Go down 95...'cause you don't want to
get on 15."
4. Las Vegas Blvd, Charleston Blvd, and Torrey Pines have no
beginning and no end.
5. It's impossible to go around a block and wind up on the same
street that you started on.
The Chamber of Commerce calls this a "scenic drive".
6. The 8:00 am rush hour is from 4:30am to 11:30am. The 5:00pm rush
hour is from 11:30am to 10:15pm. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday
morning and ends sometime late Sunday night.
7. If you actually stop at a yellow light, then you cannot be from
Las Vegas .
You may only apply your brakes when the end of a yellow light and the
beginning of the
red light create a "pumpkin-orange" hue.
8. For the most part, you can do anything you want, as long as it
isn't in a school zone.
9. Just remember that Camino Al Norte is Martin Luther King Blvd.,
Boulder Highway is Fremont Street, Eastern Ave is 25th Street or Civic
Center Drive, Desert Inn is Lamb Blvd., Spring Mountain/Sands/Twain
are all the same street. And don't forget that Ft. Apache turns into
Rampart and then turns into Durango . Don't try to figure it out. Just
accept it. If you question the intelligence behind this naming
convention, people will simply tilt their heads to the right and
stare at you.
10. Henderson is the only place in the world where THREE "parallel"
at one traffic light. That would be the 4-way of Green Valley
Parkway/Eastern Avenue / Maryland Parkway. For laughs ask your
middle school Geometry teacher to try to explain it.
11. Rainbow Blvd. has THREE exits from the 95, this just makes
giving driving directions to newbies more entertaining. There is also
a Lake Mead "Drive" and a Lake Mead "Boulevard" and both run east/west
but are 30 miles apart. You have to be specific when you say "the
corner of Lake Mead and........" Again this is just another way to
harass the 5000 newcomers every month.
12. Many major roads just end abruptly in somebody's garage, a Home
Depot, a Casino or McCarran International Airport Runways and start
again after the interruption. That was done to encourage you to "see
the sights" and meet new people. For fun, just try to take Harmon
Avenue from Rainbow to Nellis.
13. If moisture at hand is determined to be rain, not sweat, all
traffic must immediately cease. Ditto for daylight savings time, girl
applying eye-shadow across the street, or a flat tire 3 lanes over. Do
not attempt to access any road after an apocalyptic event like snow,
blowing dust, or a 3-day weekend.
14. Once a year, when it rains, the Las Vegas wash and the City of
Las Vegas are one.
15. The wind blows every day, and it is impossible to live in Las
Vegas without some kind of allergy drug.
16. Construction on I-15 and US 95 is a way of life and a permanent
form of entertainment. I-215 will never be completed. Get used to it!
17. Stay away from the corner of Nellis and Las Vegas Blvd. if you
do not like the thought of being in a remake of the movie "Top Gun."
18. And, yes, we all know that man in a teddy and a tiara on Fremont
Street. His name is Leslie and he probably makes more money than you